Goodbye Bosnia… it felt strange to leave this country. I felt like I could stay there so much longer. I felt in love with the people. From collective Aid, Basis Bosnia, Aid Brigade, the people in the Camp and in the streets… I did not fall in love with these fucking rules…

It was so hard to sign the contract. No contact with the people. Especially no love. Now I can understand why. I could understand before, but I did not give a damn. Fuck the System. I love everybody. But I am priviliged. I can chose. I can leave. I can be free… more or less.

I can not do anything against this fucking situation. I have to accept. But i dont want. I want to believe that acting against rules, can change something. Maybe it is painful. For everyone. But the NOW is painful as well and to see how fucked up everything is.

Violence, no future, no safe or privat space, no shoes, no energy, no money, no home, no rights. No brothers, no fathers, no sisters. BUT. LIFE!!! Like Nina Simone once sang… I got nothing. But … LIFE. I can not imagine how it feels like. But I know that there have been people during history, that found energy just within themselves. Even they hav nothing….

Of course I can not expect this from everyone… but still there is hope, and maybe I do expect it from myself. I would die for my principals. I will never stop fighting this system. In my way. peaceful but with force. I expect much from me. I know I am priviliged, I dont know why. But… I can expect from people not to give up themselve…

I need to accept this shit everywhere. So they have. I dont feel pitty for them. I dont treat them like poor people. I will not feel guilty because I loved someone. I will not feel guilty, because I would die for my ideas. I know what i am doing.

If he lives here without job, documents or flat, it will be the same fucked up situation. The only thing he and his friends can do… organise papers. Go back or fight. Revolt. Organise themselves, stay united and fight the power. The only thing I can do is, to make money and donate it, i can make art and inform people. I can do politics and discuss, I can just keep on doing what i am doing.

Fuck it. I need to go on. And stay calm.